Love & War
by Nicole Cullen
Summary: Bella and Jasper have known each other forever and love one another. Jasper, a Confederate soldier, has gone missing and is presumed dead. Bella is loosing her will to live. What will happen in the end? Will fate bring them together or is all hope lost?
1. Preface: Sorrow

I set out to write a BellaxEmmett fic and ended up with a BellaxJapser.

Pretty happy with it though.

Bella and Jasper have known each other since childhood. They both love one another. Jasper, a Confederate soldier, has gone missing and is presumed dead. Bella is loosing her will to live. What will happen in the end? Will fate bring them together or is all hope lost.

Stephenie Meyer owns.

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_Preface_

Sorrow

**JPOV**

I've lost the love of my life. I can never see her again. The worst part is I never had the chance to tell her how I felt.

Isabella Marie Swan, Bella for short. She was a young woman from my childhood. We were inseparable and our parents had arranged our marriage.

We would have been angry with them had we not been such great friends. We figured if we were not aloud to choose who we spent our lives with we had gotten the long end of the stick.

Even though we were to be wed and I had fallen for her I never once told her how I felt. For this I feel horrible. I know that she loved me or at least I believe she did. I have always been able to know what others were feeling but with her you could never be to sure. Her emotions always ran haywire. This was one of my favorite things about her, she always kept me guessing. But love was always there.

Now I can never see her again because of what I have become. They call me a vampire and want me to fight. I thirst for human blood and I have no control. This is why I can not see her. If I were to see her, I don't know what I would do. I can only assume her blood is of the finest caliber that of which I could not deny. I _can_ not and _will_ not bring her into this life. I would not be able to live with myself and I have a long life to live.

So I suffer in solitude. I follow my master's orders like the good weapon I am. It's funny how I used to enjoy all of this. Following directions, giving orders, being a part of a war. Before I was changed I was a Confederate soldier. In fact, I had moved through the ranks to become a Major. The youngest of my time and that was with my false age on the records.

Now I detest it all. It is because of this life that I have lost that of which I hold most dear. My precious Bella. My fragile, delicate, beautiful Bella. I can only hope that she will find someone else. I pray she does and I pray that she has a wonderful life. I want nothing but the best for her and I can no longer give it to her.

My new master, Maria, has been training me in the art of killing vampires. She says I have a knack for it and she wants me to be in charge of the others. I accepted her offer hoping it would keep my mind occupied. Maria's newborn army is expanding quickly and she's gaining a large territory.

She is happy with my skills and leadership. I am disgusted in the rewards she gives me. I wish there was another way to feed but she says there is none. We are hunters and humans are our prey. My instincts tell me she's right but I feel horrible.

I only accept men. The soft skin of women only reminds me of Bella and I don't want to imagine biting her, even though the thought has crossed my mind numerous times.

"Jasper!"

_Sigh. Back to reality._

**BPOV**

He's dead. I can't believe it. I've lost him and I'll never see him again.

Two soldiers just left my home. They came to tell me my fiancé was missing and presumed dead.

Jasper Whitlock. My love. My life. I've known him for as long as I can remember and I can't think of a time that I didn't love him. We were going to be married soon. When he came back from his time at war. He had never told me he loved me but I know he did. I could feel it as if it radiated out of him and into me. I had never told him either but I knew he knew. That was what our relationship was like. We could read each other like no one else. We didn't need words. Our actions were enough.

I can feel myself falling into a dark pit of despair. I know he wouldn't want this for me but I can't envision a life without him. As time ticks by I can feel myself becoming numb. All is lost. He is gone. Soon, so will my will to live.

I lean against the door frame and collapse to the ground. Why did this have to happen? Why me? Why him? We were going to spend our lives together and now we can't. What am I supposed to do now? Move on? Find someone else? I could never do that. No one can match him. I would, I _will_ never feel the same about another man ever. Jasper will always be my soul mate. I wish I could have told him at least once that I loved him.

I close my eyes wishing this was a dream.

"Bella!"

My eyes open and I can see an old friend running my way, Mary Sue. She stops in front of me and asks if I heard about Jasper yet. I nod and she tells me she's sorry. Why would she be sorry? It's not like she did it. She grabs my hand and asks me to go for a walk with her. The air would do me good. I agree and let her lead me into the woods. I don't see this helping me any, but maybe it can distract me for a little while.

It is getting dark. The temperature has dropped as it does in Texas at night. We are walking in silence. Mary Sue gave up on talking to me twenty minutes into the forest. I prefer it this way. The moon shines overhead casting light on the trail that leads us back to town.

It is silent enough that I can hear something rustling behind us. It's too big to be an animal but it's too quiet to be a person. I look over at Mary; she doesn't show any signs of hearing it.

I slow down and turn my head to look behind me. I don't see anything.

_Great. Now I'm hearing things._

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So there's the beginning. Tell me what you think please. Should I continue?


	2. One: The Change

Stephenie Meyer owns.

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_Chapter One_

The Change

**BPOV**

Shaking off what must have been my new found insanity, I turned my head straight again only to stop dead in my tracks. Mary Sue had done the same.

In front of us were two beautiful men I had never seen before. As if everything about them didn't already make them stand out, their eyes were the color of the richest blood.

"Good evening ladies," the taller of the two said in a deep southern accent.

The other leaned his head close to the speaker and said something so quietly if I had been standing by him I'm sure I still would not have heard him.

"No you imbecile! We need to bring them back. We've already messed up this week when we killed the last group."

"She'd never know," he pleaded.

"Do you really believe that? I'm sure she has someone tailing us."

Both of them turned their heads side to side checking the surroundings. When satisfied they turned their attention back to us.

"That one would be easy to change," the taller one spoke again, obviously having more seniority over the other, towards Mary Sue. "However I'm not to sure I'd be able to control myself with her."

That was directed at me. My mind began racing. What is he talking about? Change?

"Let's just bring them back to Maria and let her do it. It's easier to transport them when their not flailing around anyway."

"Good point."

"Well, time to go girls."

"G-go. Go w-where?" Mary muttered.

"To war of course. But first we must make you stronger." He smiled an alluring smile, all teeth. Very animalistic.

I could feel the adrenaline from the fear rushing through me.

Looking directly at them I saw them vanish in the blink of an eye. I didn't have time to wonder how they did it, as a second later a boulder collided with me and I was racing through the forest at break neck speed. It wasn't long before I passed out.

………

I awoke to a searing pain all throughout my body. It felt as though I was burning from the inside. I screamed and heard someone chuckle.

"Looks like one finally woke up girls."

"Looks it Maria."

Maria? I remember that name. Why?

I thought back to what I could remember last. Two men. They had mentioned her name. Is she the reason I feel like this right now?

I found what little strength I could and asked, "What did you do to me?"

I heard her crouch down next to me as she began to speak.

"I find the best time to explain things, is during the change. I always know that I have that person's undeniable attention. So listen up sweetie. Right now, what you're feeling is my venom running though your veins. It will gradually take over and kill each and every one of your organs until it reaches your heart. At this point you will be dead…"

My eyes widened and I screamed again.

She laughed. "That's my favorite part. I like to pause there for dramatic effect. Don't worry. You won't really be dead. Just figuratively. Technically. In truth, you will have been reborn into a new life of darkness. I think you'll quite enjoy it actually.

"And in return for me giving you such a great new life…" she paused as I was thinking she was nuts. "I know what you're thinking. 'What do I owe her?' Well you owe me your life. If it weren't for me, my little friends who picked you up would have drained you of every last bit of blood. Surely they would have. I must say, you're delicious." She made a sound as if she were licking her lips.

"Anyway, in return for me being so kind, you owe me a lifetime of solitude. You will fight for me as my solider along with many others like yourself. So now I'll leave you until you're done changing. It should take another two days or so. So enjoy your last hours as a human. For when it is over, you will be a vampire."

**JPOV**

"How you doing Jasper?"

I raised my head so I could see the person talking to me. _Peter. Of course it is._

"How do you think?"

"Well I'm getting some seriously depressed vibes from you, so I guess that should be my answer."

"Sorry about that. Still working on it. It's not easy controlling emotions."

"It's not a problem, my friend. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm as good as I can be."

"This still about that girl of yours?"

"It's always about Bella," I said bluntly.

"I know, I know. You want to talk about it yet?"

"No."

"Alright."

He sat down next to me. Neither of us said anything for a short while. I stared out at the horizon. The sun was rising and we would be stuck in the woods until twilight.

"A new group of newborns are in the process of changing," Peter said. He was desperately trying to strike up a conversation. I could feel he was nervous and worried about me. "They should be ready to start training by tonight."

"Oh yeah? Great." I didn't sound enthusiastic at all.

Peter gave up and walked away without saying anything else. I moved further into the forest and found a spot to sit. The hours passed and I didn't move. If anyone walked by me, I'm sure they would have assumed I was a statue.

When the sun began to descend from the sky Maria came and found me.

"Jasper I want to introduce you to the new recruits."

I didn't reply. I just stood and followed her to where she had them all waiting.

Upon reaching them, I reached out for their emotions. They were all feeling something different, but overall the same thing.

Fear. Confusion. Wonder. Awe. Confusion. Realization. Regret. Depression. Complete and utter sorrow.

_This should be fun._

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AN: So there's chapter one. I'm sorry if you feel it's too short. I'm trying to make them longer, but if I were to make them too long, this would be very few chapters, the story would be over quickly and it would seem even more rushed then it already does.

So thank you for reading and please review. They really do help us writers want to write faster.


	3. Two: Poor Souls and Familiar Voices

Stephenie Meyer owns.

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_Chapter Two_

Poor Souls and Familiar Voices

**JPOV**

I looked around at the new recruits. Overall, they didn't seem like anything special. They were just a bunch of unlucky kids picked off the streets. Merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. _Poor souls._

This was the regiment I was expected to train.

I took a better look at them. Four males and three females. Only two of the men looked like they had done any form of physical labor in their lives. They would be easy. A few sessions and they would be out in the field doing business for Maria.

The other two, plus the females would take a little longer, but working under me they would be fine. In a few short days they too would be going at it against our rival's army.

I placed my focus on the women. I pitied them the most. I hated that Maria allowed her recruiters to pick them up. They shouldn't be here doing this. The battlefield was no place for a woman.

One of them seemed to whimper and I felt even more for her. She was staring at the ground lost in a frenzy of emotions that could easily match Bella's.

_STAB_. There I go again; thinking about Bella. Why do I do this to myself? To late now. I allowed myself a better look at her. Everything about this woman reminded me of my Bella. From her soft slender frame to her mahogany hair. If I weren't in such denial that I would never see Bella again, I would have sworn it was her. But there would be no reason for Bella to be here. She's safe and at home, moving on.

I had to remind myself that that was what I wanted for her. I took a deep, unneeded breath to control myself and was about to begin my opening speech when the female that had caught my attention only seconds ago ran away.

_Sigh. There's always one_.

Every group has that one newborn that can't take it anymore and just runs for it. Either because they're scared or they can no longer contain their thirst, they just run.

"Go get her Jasper, quick!" Maria ordered.

I listened and ran after the girl. She may have a bit of an edge being she is the newest a newborn can be, full of that extra strength and whatnot; but I am pretty quick myself.

I caught up till I was directly behind her and again was dragged back into my past. The similarities between this woman and Bella were too much to bear. It was as if I was a child again, and I was chasing Bella in her backyard the way boys do when they're young.

I shook my head, ridding myself of the reverie before it could catch on. I didn't need to feel that horrible sorrow right now.

"Miss, please stop!" I called out to her.

Her reaction was immediate. It was as if my voice had shot an arrow into her back. She stopped, frozen where she stood.

**BPOV**

I couldn't take this. I needed to get away. I needed to get away now. That crazy lunatic wants me to fight in her army. As if being told you're a vampire wasn't bad enough. You want me to fight?

_Oh dear God, I'm a vampire_. But what does that mean? I need to kill humans to survive now. I live forever. Why would I want to live forever without Jasper? _Oh Jasper!_ Like I really needed to do that to myself.

I was staring at the ground. I knew my emotions were running hectic at the moment. It was times like these that Jasper, always the empathetic one, would throw his arms around me and hug me tight until I calmed down.

I heard someone take a deep breath in front of us. I guess that means our 'trainer' of sorts is about to begin.

My mind and body reacted at once. I wasn't going to stand for this. There was no way I was going to fight let alone learn how to fight. So I stood up and ran. What were they going to do? Kill me?

Moments later I realized I was reaching speeds I never would have thought possible of myself.

Maybe I could make it. Maybe I could get away from these people. I heard someone pursuing me and tried to run faster.

_No! I will not let them catch me. I will not fight for them. All I wanted to do was die. How am I supposed to do that now?_

So I continued to run. If I was stuck in this eternal form I would at least live my life the way I wanted to. As for the whole killing humans, drinking blood problem; I'm sure there was a way around it. There had to be!

Whoever it was that was sent to bring me back was catching up quickly. I pushed myself harder and my speed quickened even more.

"Miss, please stop!" I heard him call to me. My mind comprehended his request and his voice and I stopped immediately. I was frozen. There was no way. I knew that voice all to well, but there was no way it was him. How could he be here? Why would he be here?

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AN: So there you have chapter two. I know it's short. Please don't kill me. I figured you'd want an update now rather then later, plus I thought it was a good place to stop. So do your thing and please review and I will do mine and get you an update soon.


	4. Three: Hope

Stephenie Meyer owns.

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_Chapter Three_

Hope

_Previously:_

"_Miss, please stop!" I called out to her._

_Her reaction was immediate. It was as if my voice had shot an arrow into her back. She stopped, frozen where she stood._

**JPOV**

I felt hope radiate from the girl before me. I wondered why. I had only asked her to stop. Why would something like that cause her hope?

"Jasper?" the girl asked, barely above a whisper.

How did she know my name? If Maria had given them a name at all it would have been Whitlock.

"Jasper?" she asked again, a little louder.

This time I noticed the sound of her voice. The way my name rolled off her tongue and the way bells seemed to chime. There was only one woman I knew with a voice like that.

But she shouldn't be here. That would be impossible. Still the hope I was feeling from her became my own.

"Bella?"

There was an audible intake of breath. Then slowly the woman in front of me turned her body around. My eyes were locked on her face as it came into view.

Even before I had a full frontal view, I knew it was her. I had studied that profile for far to long to not be able to recognize it.

From her forehead, to the soft curve of her nose, down to her chin. The only thing that was different was the color of her eyes. They were no longer the rich soulful brown I had come to know; they were now a deep crimson; her own blood having changed them.

If I were able to produce tears I know my eyes would be filled with them now. No longer tears of sorrow, but tears of joy.

For the love of my life, my angel was somehow brought back to me. All I could do now was pray that my eyes weren't deceiving me.

"Is it really you?" I asked her.

Her eyes widened and in an instant she was crashing into my chest, her arms wrapped around my neck.

"Jasper!"

I wrapped my arms around her tightly and hugged her to the brink that would crush a human.

I inhaled her scent deeply, familiarizing myself with it, using my new sense of smell. She smelled floral, like freesias.

She pulled back to look into my eyes.

"Jasper, how did this happen? I thought you were dead."

"I had no choice. If I had allowed myself to see you even once to say goodbye I know I would have wanted your blood."

"You could have changed me though, yourself. We could have escaped this mess and been together for eternity."

"I didn't want this life for you. Your heart is too pure to have to depend on human blood to survive."

"I would have done it for you. I would do anything for you." There was a hint of sorrow in her voice and I felt doubt come from her. I knew I had to set things straight before she thought the wrong way.

"I would love nothing more then to live eternity with you Bella, but you know how I am. When it comes to you all I want to do is protect you. I truly didn't want you to have to be like this. I'm disgusted with myself.

"I know you just said you would do anything for me, but I didn't want you to have to. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I'm not even sure I would have been able to stop sucking your blood once I bit you. Believe me when I say, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you."

"I do believe you and not a second has gone by that I haven't thought about you. When the men came and told me you were missing and chances are that you were dead, I lost the will to live. I didn't know how I was going to go on without you. I wasn't sure I could."

I didn't doubt a word she said. Even without the ability to read her emotions, she was always honest with me. She continued her rant and I let her. It was always better to just let her get all her thoughts out.

"Then those strange men found me and Mary Sue in the woods and brought us here, that woman changed me, I felt all that pain and listened to her speech. I couldn't take it; I ran and now you're standing in front me. Alive."

"Well not technically alive," I tried to joke, my voice gave in.

She half smiled at my attempt, "But not six feet under either."

"True. I do have one question though."

"What is it?"

"Why did you try to run?"

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, hesitating or preparing herself to answer.

"It became too much. That woman told me I was now going to fight in some war and that I was lucky to not be dead. That I owed her for her _kindness._ She told me I was a vampire and all I could think was 'now I'm stuck living forever.'"

"What's wrong with that?"

She looked directly into my eyes. Her eyes still held the ability to captivate me and make me focus on nothing else.

"Living forever without you would have been a nightmare. It would have been horrible. All I had wanted to do after hearing you were gone was die and then I was told I was no longer able to do that. I could no longer have the simple pleasure of realizing I'm going to die soon and this pain will be taken away from me. That I would once again see you in the afterlife.

"Knowing I was never going to be able to see you again and that I was stuck here on Earth for eternity alone was too much. So I ran thinking 'what's the worse they can do to me, kill me?'"

She smiled then at her joke and I smiled right back at her. Everything she did was contagious for me. If she was happy, I was happy. If she laughed, I laughed. And if she cried, I cried.

She was still in my arms and I had no intention of letting her go anytime soon. Thinking about everything that had happened in the last few minutes made me think back to that one regret I had felt so horrible about since my change. Now was as good a time as any to tell her.

"Bella?"

She had rested her head against my chest and brought it back to look up at me.

"Yes Jasper?"

"There's something I have to tell you."

I felt her emotions go haywire and I couldn't help but chuckle. Leave it to Bella to go straight to the worse case scenario.

Seeing me laugh just confused her but she steadied her emotions a bit.

"Bella, I love you."

Her expression was the one I had always hoped to get. Again, if we were able to cry, I was sure she would have been, so of course I would have.

"I love you too, Jasper."

I smiled at her and watched as she stood on her toes trying to make herself taller, I helped her by picking her up so we were face to face. After the initial shock of me holding her in the air she wrapped her legs around my waist, stared into my eyes for a brief second and then pressed her lips lightly against mine.

I responded to her touch and deepened the kiss. Finally, she was mine again and I had told her I loved her and I was right to have thought she loved me back.

I couldn't have been happier in that moment. With Bella in my arms, our lips together in a passionate kiss and our love tangible in the air, nothing else mattered. That moment was ours.

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I apologize for the ridiculous time lapse between this chapter and the last one. I know, I'm horrible. I won't bother giving excuses, though I have plenty. So I'll just say I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will do my best to update soon. Please review.


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